If she's having trouble holding it together, your email may show up at the wrong moment and upset her a lot more. An interesting example of how damaging this can be to a relationship came to me by chance one evening at a social gathering.
I loved his song, 'I Don't Want To Talk About It,' and I think it is one of the greatest ballads ever. I don't want to read her mind. Here is how the young man who asked me for help solved his own problem in a rather ingenious way —with his new car manual: “I said to her one day, 'Take a look at this. Outside of my closest family and friends, I generally don’t want to talk about ‘it’. If she's already told you she doesn't want to talk about it, I would not send even the general note - she'll know what kicked off the email, and indirectly talking about it is still talking about it. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Very often, passive-aggressive people have a hidden agenda problem but even they might not recognize this. Both say nothing and they play the game or when one of them brings up the subject, the other says, "I don't want to talk about it.". It was first recorded by Crazy Horse and issued as the final track on side one of their 1971 eponymous album. Express gratitude that you have been freed to find a relationship in which the two of you bring out the best in each other. She wants to retire and garden. She's probably pretty raw right now, and anything to do with thinking about them will just make it harder for her. If you want to help her, take your cue from her. ", Then, rather sadly, he added, "What she doesn't get is that we are both losing this battle. And if this behavior occurs with a friend, and you lose that friend because he or she is insulted that you spoke up, let the person go. If she's having trouble holding it together, your email may show up at the wrong moment and upset her a lot more. An interesting example of how damaging this can be to a relationship came to me by chance one evening at a social gathering.
I’m an introvert, I hate having the floor, meeting new people makes me anxious, and I always feel like I’ve said too much too awkwardly. If I ask her what the problem is, she storms out saying, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ Or she’ll say, ‘You just don’t get it.’”. When the two of you seem to be in conflict, wait until emotions settle and suggest a three-minute talk in the safe place. We all recognize the family member, spouse, lover, or friend whose behavior falls into what we perceive as the passive-aggressive category. I had really not thought about this until now but my cats do this. I'd just send an email that says simply "I'm thinking of you and I am here if and when you ever want to talk about it.". When someone says something that reminds you of something that is currently making you sad, and you reply “I don’t want to talk about it” but most of the times they reply with “can you please tell me?” This often leads to people just saying “I’m fine” instead of expressing their true feelings. There are many psychologists and therapists who can help assist a couple work their way through these difficult times. We both know it's there. Yes, just send her a nice note but don't allude to the loss of her cats in it. I especially like her advice on providing a mutually agreed upon "safety-zone". But even though I know it was the right choice and had to be done, I still never want to think about it or talk about it with anyone.). Or as can be the case with younger couples, she may say, "I feel this relationship is becoming one-sided. Don’t have an account?